Got Miles?

Someone needs them more than you do

I’m a collector – I know this thanks to the book “Find Your Strengths.” It’s helped me make sense of why, as a child, I collected quotes, magazines, sports memorabilia – you name it. Today, I’m a minimalist and while I still collect quotes, I also collect miles. Airline miles, hotel points – I don’t discriminate. Who doesn’t love a good loyalty program?

If you’re a serious road warrior like me, then you also have thousands of points sitting around. Some you’ll hang onto forever and keep reaping the rewards but others…well, it’s time to part for a good cause.

So today (June 20), in recognition of the UN’s World Refugee Day, I pledged all of my United Airlines miles to the Miles4Migrants cause.

I recently learned about the two-year old start-up from a co-worker (hi, Emily Freedman). Her husband, Andy Freedman is one of the co-founders and shared that the organization recently booked its 1,000th flight for immigrant and refugee family members using donated miles. In fact, the 1,000th flight will be reuniting an Afghan family of 9 who became separated from their son when he fled civil unrest. Now, they’ll soon join him in Belgium nearly 2 years later.

Sometimes I struggle to find causes I personally connect with so using my passion for travel (and gratefulness to gainful employment for contributing to the #points cause) to help reconnect families is a meaningful fit. The fact that miles can fuel (literally) such a reunion and that you can see the firsthand impact is pretty special.

Give it some thought and consider donating here. And of course, keep earning those miles for yourself and others.

Sorry, not sorry

The damaging effects of minimizing language

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry.”

“Oops, sorry.”

“Sorry, my bad.”

“Don’t say sorry, you needed to open your locker.”

A woman finally broke the stream of “s” words ping ponging across the locker room. Ladies, we sound ridiculous. This is not a Justin Bieber song. We need to stop apologizing for everything.

 

Throwing the word around as a catch all – when there’s nothing to be sorry for – minimizes its meaning and diminishes our presence. Essentially, we’re apologizing for taking up space.

We all do it and when you step back and listen to it – as I did at the gym the other morning – you realize it’s embarrassing, not to mention exhausting.

Our frequent use of “sorry” erodes its meaning in instances where it does, in fact, really matter. When used as filler – e.g., saying “I’m sorry, but…” in a meeting – the words immediately minimize the contribution we’re about to make. Let me say that again – when we use minimizing language, we diminish ourselves, our presence and our contributions.

Since this observation (and by no means is this an original observation, many an article has been written on this topic), I’ve been much more cognizant of when and how I use the phrase in my own day-to-day. Starting today, let’s commit to owning our language. Alternate phrases like the below are more appropriate options & help us save the use of “I’m sorry” for when it’s truly needed.

Running into someone – “Excuse me”

Running late – “Thanks for waiting for me”

Resisting a thought – “Interesting point, but….”

Receiving feedback – “Thanks for sharing, I didn’t realize”

Have other tips and tricks for avoiding the “I’m sorry” trap? Share below.

This is a complex topic and sometimes, women intentionally choose this language in corporate settings. After completing this article, I came across an episode of HBR’s “Women at Work” podcast on this very topic – ironically, with the same name. Take a listen for more from the experts.

To lead, speak last

By no means am I an expert in this; in fact, I’m one of the worst offenders I know (how’s that for honesty). But to become a better leader at the office and beyond, we have to be able to identify our weaknesses.

I recently came across this advice on LinkedIn:

“Be the last to speak. Whether it’s in a meeting or 1-1, try really hard to speak after everyone else. It creates a feeling that your team is being heard…it’s so easy to want to problem solve and share your experience so you can help someone develop. It’s even harder to practice this skill when time is limited, and you may only have 30 minutes. There are times where if you use this skill, you may reach the end of the meeting and have said nothing. It’s okay. Your goal is to make people feel heard, not to fall in love with the sound of your own voice.”

Now that’s some truth; vowing to become a better practitioner of this. One challenge that immediately comes to mind – to be an effective listener, it’s also incumbent on the speaker to be clear, concise and compelling in a world where effective verbal communication is becoming a lost art.

How do you balance deep listening with the need for speed in today’s corporate environment? Speed being the constant need for efficiency & quick decision-making given competing priorities.

Comment below.

 

10 years; 10 musings

It recently hit me – I’ve been in the workforce for 10+ years. This benchmark seems like as good a time as any to take a step back & reflect on a decade of lessons learned. Would love to hear – what principles guide your day-to-day? Below is a compilation of gathered wisdom infused with personal perspective.

1. Give a damn. Passion: what’s life without it? We spend most of our waking hours making a living. Give them meaning. Make the journey memorable.

2. Perception is the co-pilot to reality. Have never forgotten these words by Carla Harris. You are what you think. Learn to direct your thoughts; after all, beliefs are just thoughts you keep thinking.

3. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. No matter the message, your delivery has the greatest impact.

4. Say yes, and then figure it out. Earlier in my career, I was offered an opportunity to move to New York to build a business from the ground up. I hesitated and it cost me the job. Sometimes you just need to close your eyes, give a resounding yes & then figure it out. Point blank.

5. Never confuse motion with action. We’re all busy (perhaps busier than Ben Franklin was when he made this statement). We need to get better at moving forward the precious few things that matter and letting go of the rest. Action over motion, baby.

6. Just ask. Doesn’t matter what it is – a new opportunity, raise, promotion, time off (let’s hear it for Argentina, Iceland & Colombia in the books this past year!). Learn to advocate for yourself and have no qualms doing it.

7. And always ask forgiveness instead of permission. Be bold. Be smart, but be bold. Never be apologetic in your bias for action.

8. Respect others’ styles. I cringe looking back on how, in my PR days, I regularly edited a junior colleague’s email sign-off. There are many ways to get the job done – teach, but don’t clone.

9. Know your brand. We all have strengths, weaknesses. Own them and craft your story accordingly. Your brand changes over time; don’t hesitate to refresh it.

10. How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. Annie Dillard, I’ve just now hit my stride on this one. Make time for yourself each day, each week, each month to emerge from the chaos and simply check-in. The time to make a change is now.